Sub-conscioious again. 5.30a.m sleep, 7.10a.m wake up. Go count yourself how much I've slept in a day. I'm really tired of this stupid life. This has become a habitat already.

I can't.. hold any more. Everyday seems the same.

I can't even get to sleep. I really wonder what's the cause to it. Do I need to visit a doctor to get some pills? I could get awake even for a little minor sound, which I'll obviously not in the past.

Well, perhaps it's telling me to get a job. At least I'd Carl's Jr with me last year, and I'm exhausted everyday I return. So perhaps it's the reason why I couldn't get to sleep, since there's no school anyway. Although it's tiring, for a 12 hours shift, but afterall, it's enjoyable. A feeling that could sastify my needs.

And when I get a job, my mom will get her opportunity to question me what time I would return. When I don't get a job, she will start to nag at me. Different senario get the same outcome. The outcome has always been the same.

Well, perhaps I shouldn't have complain so much after all. Life has never been fair, to me nor anymore. After all, this post is for the sake of my sleep, not about working.


Aiyah, no one has ever appreciate what I've done. They don't know how much effort I've putted in in every serious thing I've done. They only judge it's cover by it's look. They think that I'm someone to be good to be bullied. Look like the method I've use has prove everything wrong, look like by keeping silence doesn't improve at all, it make you feel like bullying me more.


Terrifying feelings inside.. no one can understand me better me other than myself. Sometime, I would feel that I've been forced to live in this world. Everyone except my family and some friends has abandoned me. They thought they know me well, but the fact is, they only know what I like nor dislike.

My foolish thoughts make me think that you will cherish me again.